Well, like most professional recruiters, part of my job is to administer CVs / resumes, career cover letters and job applications.

When I do go through CVs and believe me I go through an awful lot! I occasionally come across a few gems; some funny, some not so funny, I tweet a lot of them (usually out of frustration) but I thought I would dedicate a page here.

I will be updating this page from time to time with little snippets that I come across. No offence intended...:)

If you have any CV Burps yourself, let me know, I will post them up along with your website (if required) Use this link using the subject CV Burp


Here goes...

**...Looking after peoples weekly movements..."

**...When I left for maturity leave..."

**"...I build a raptor with new people..."

**...learning them basic hygiene skills and teaching them English..." OMG!! What is the world coming too?

** Please please please, write the dates when you have been employed from and to (if applicable) on your CV, thank you.

** If you (the jobseeker) finished working for a company in one particular month e.g. August and you have written that you started working at another company the month before e.g. July. You will need to explain this on your CV. Otherwise the recruiter (me) will discard your application.

** When applying for a temporary position and your CV states that you are in employment, we may not consider your application as Temporarory jobs usually need an immediate start. Please update your CV whenever you complete an assignment or finish working somewhere.

** "A* in English Langauge"

** "Has many skills (although speling is not of them)"

** When we ask jobseekers to fill out information at our Recruitment agency we ask for a salutation, recently one jobseeker wrote "Unemployed"

** "I don't really know what to say about this job, I just didn't really like it much"

** Received a CV which stated that they had worked at their last company till 195th of November (What a long month!)

** "I am currently working at Rools Royce" - Oh dear!

 ** "I like a good shag" This was hidden at the bottom of the 3rd page. I think someone must have adjusted her CV and then not told her. (I hope!)

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